One of the frequently asked questions on this site is: can I get the bhāva I want? No, the bhāva comes from the guru and there is no choice in the matter. Śrī Jīva Goswami’s writings in the Bhakti Sandarbha Anuccheda 202.2 clarify this point clearly and concisely. He has already made the point prior to this Anuccheda that bhakti exclusively comes from association of bhaktas or devotees. There is no other way to get it. Now, he explains that one’s bhakti is of the same ‘flavor’ or ‘nature’ as the bhakti of the devotee one associates with. He writes:

tad evaṁ teṣāṁ bahu-bhedeṣu satsu teṣām eva prabhāva-tāratamyena kṛpā-tāratamyena bhakti-vāsanā-bheda-tāratamyena sat-saṅgāt kāla-śaighrya-svarūpa-vaiśiṣṭyābhyāṁ bhaktir udayate |

Thus, by the association of authentic devotees (sat-saṅga) among the numerous gradations of saints (sat) that have been described, one may be endowed with bhakti, which will manifest either quickly or gradually and be imbued with a particular essential nature (svarūpa) according to the degree of the devotees’ spiritual power (prabhāva), the degree of their compassion (kṛpā), and the gradation of their different internalized devotional predilections (bhakti-vāsanās).

Here, he establishes that the essential nature or svarūpa of bhakti that one gets, and the rapidity with one gets it, is according to the following qualities of the devotee one associates with:

1. the devotee’s power
2. the devotee’s degree of compassion
3. the devotee’s own devotional inclinations (bhakti-vāsanās)

Thus, one’s bhakti is not independent of the bhakti of the devotee one associates with. If one associates with a bhakti who has dāsya bhāva, one can only get dāsya bhāva.

So crucial is association, that Śrī Jīva Goswami identifies association of devotees as the abhidheya.

tatra yadyapy akiñcanā bhaktir evābhidheyeti tat-kāraṇatvena tad-bhakta-saṅga evābhidheye sati bhakto’pi sa eva lakṣitavyaḥ

In this matter, unconditional devotion (akiñcanā-bhakti) has been established as the abhidheya, or the means of attaining the Absolute. Yet because the association of Bhagavān’s devotees is the cause of the appearance of bhakti, this association is itself the abhidheya. For this reason, the characteristics of the devotee [the akiñcana-bhakta] are certainly also to be elaborated.

Now, he explains this in more detail by examining the stages of devotion.

tatra prathamaṁ tāvat tat-tat-saṅgāj jātena tat-tac-chraddhā-tat-tat-paramparā-kathā-rucy-ādinā jāta-bhagavat-sāmmukhyasya

First of all, by association with devotees of a given disposition, one develops a corresponding type of faith in Bhagavān (śraddhā) and a relish (ruci) for hearing about Him as He is disclosed in the corresponding tradition. From this, the turning of one’s intentful regard toward Bhagavān (bhagavat-sāmmukhya) is effected.

From saṅga or association of the devotee develops śraddhā and a ruci for hearing about Bhagavān in the specific paramparā. This brings about the turning of one’s awareness to Bhagavān. Next, one develops an attraction for the specific form of Bhagavān that the devotee worships, and an attraction for the specific path of worship they have:

tat-tad-anuṣaṅgenaiva tat-tad-bhajanīye bhagavad-āvirbhāva-viśeṣe tad-bhajana-mārga-viśeṣe ca rucir jāyate |

Then by further association with those particular devotees, one develops an attraction (ruci) for the specific manifestation of Bhagavān (āvirbhāva-viśeṣa) who is the supreme object of their worship (tad-bhajanīya) as well as for the specific path of worship that they follow (tad-bhajana-mārga).

There is no independence possible in the matter! Can it be made more clear?

In the Caitanya Vaiṣṇava sampradāya, the bhajana mārga is rāgānugā bhakti, and the bhajanīya is Vrajeṣa-tanaya- the son of Śrī Nanda. This rāgānugā bhakti is, by definition, a follower of the Goswamis (as I have examined here and here and here). So one cannot now become a sakhā or sakhi or whatever, according to one’s own ideas. That is pure imagination- it is not rāgānugā bhakti. Manjari bhāva is the only possible bhāva in the sampradāya, because that is the Goswamis’ bhāva.

As an aside, association is also crucial on the jñāna-marga. He writes:

evaṁ jñāni-saṅgāc ca jñānaṁ jñeyam | tatra yadyapy akiñcanā bhaktir evābhidheyeti tat-kāraṇatvena tad-bhakta-saṅga evābhidheye sati bhakto’pi sa eva lakṣitavyaḥ, tathāpi tat-tat-parīkṣārtham eva tat-tad-anuvādaḥ kriyate |

In corresponding fashion, jñāna, or “the immediate realization of unqualified Brahman,” is understood to manifest through the association of a jñānī, in accordance with his power, mercy, and level of realization.

This is all very logical. One’s concepts and mood depend on one’s association. Concepts decide one’s sādhanā, and that brings the corresponding result. The following statement from the Mahabharata is relevant here:

ज्ञानपूर्वा भवेल्लिप्सा लिप्सापूर्वाभिसन्धिता अभिसन्धिपूर्वकं कर्म कर्ममूलं ततः फलम् (महाभारत शान्ति पर्व २०६।६)