How worldly love is different from Bhagavān’s love

In a previous article, I examined the definition of prīti given by Śrī Jīva Goswami. There, we saw how prīti or love for Bhagavān has the same definition as the worldly prīti or love, but they are different substances. The former is a function of Bhagavān’s svarūpa-śakti, while the latter is a function of Bhagavān’s māyā-śakti.

Unfortunately, the distinction between the two types of love has become obscured with the passage of time, to such an extent that most Gauḍiyas now think that worldly love and love for Bhagavān are the same substance but happen to have different objects. That is, worldly love has worldly beings such as wife, children or parents as its object, while love for Bhagavān has Bhagavān as its object. Worldly love, they claim, is the same as Bhagavān’s love in its essence, except it is misdirected.

Because of this confused thinking, modern Gauḍiyas have come to uncritically believe that love for Bhagavān is dormant inside of us. The reality is that love for Bhagavān is Bhagavān’s svarūpa-śakti, and it has to be earned . It is not inside of us already.

It is important to get these concepts right, otherwise one’s whole framework is fatally flawed, and one’s practices will never bear fruit. There is a reason Śrī Jīva Goswami wrote the Prīti Sandarbha – to ensure that Gauḍiyas have a crystal clear understanding of prīti. Just the definition of prīti occupies several Anucchedas in the Prīti Sandarbha. Here, I will examine how Śrī Jīva Goswami, yet again, differentiates between Bhagavān’s love and worldly love.

There are two types of worldly love

Śrī Jīva Goswami quotes an answer from Śrī Kṛṣṇa to a question asked by the gopīs, in order to establish first that there are two types of worldly love, and then to establish that Bhagavān’s love is distinct from both types of worldly love. The question from the gopīs is as follows —

bhajato’nubhajanty eka eka etad-viparyayam
nobhayāṁś ca bhajanty eka etan no brūhi sādhu bhoḥ

Some return the love only of those who love them, some do the opposite [i.e., love unconditionally even those who do not return their love], while others extend love neither to those who love them nor to those who do not. Please enlighten us truthfully in this regard [implying, “to which of these categories do You belong?”]. (sb 10.32.16)

The verse mentions two types of people who love others (the third type does not love anyone). Love of the first type is a selfish love, where one loves only those who give something back in return. The other type is selfless love, in which one unconditionally loves others. Of these, the second type of love, the selfless love, is of course better. This type of love has some similarity with Bhagavān’s prīti. Śrī Jīva Goswami identifies this similarity as below —

laukika-śuddha-prīti-nidarśanenāpi svayaṁ tathaiva draḍhayati—

Even with regard to the example of pure worldly love (laukika-śuddha-prīti), Bhagavān Śrī Kṛṣṇa Himself confirms this precise point [that the exhibitions of genuine love (prema-ceṣṭā) have as their intended aim (tātparya) love alone (prītiḥ eva)]:

He then cites Śrī Kṛṣṇa’s answer to the gopīs’s answer —

mitho bhajanti ye sakhyaḥ svārthaikāntodyamā hi te |
na tatra sauhṛdaṁ dharmaḥ svārthārthaṁ tad dhi nānyathā ||

O friends, those who attend to each other [with an expectation of reciprocal return] have only their own self-interest alone as the intended aim of their interactions. Neither true benevolence (sauhṛda) nor moral integrity (dharma) lie behind such dealings — only self-interest and nothing else.

This verse obviously refers to selfish worldly love. But there is also selfless worldly love:

bhajanty abhajato ye vai karuṇāḥ pitaro yathā |
dharmo nirapavādo’tra sauhṛdaṁ ca sumadhyamāḥ || [bhā.pu. 10.32.17-18]

On the other hand, those who love even the ones who do not reciprocate their love are graciously disposed in the manner of kindhearted parents. An irreproachable sense of moral obligation and true benevolence abide in such selfless love, O beautiful gopīs. (sb 10.32.17–18)

Unlike what many Gauḍiyas claim, Śrī Kṛṣṇa teaches that worldly love in this world can be selfless, such as the love of kindhearted parents.

Bhagavān’s love is different from both types of worldly love

However, even selfless, worldly love is distinct from Bhagavān’s love. Śrī Kṛṣṇa now teaches how His love, that is, the love His devotees have for Him, and the love He has for His devotees, is distinct from selfless worldly love. Śrī Jīva Goswami cites His reply:

tato’pi sva-prīter vaiśiṣṭyam āha—

After speaking the two previous verses, Śrī Kṛṣṇa distinguishes the uncommon manner of His own love (prīti) even from pure worldly love [laukika-śuddha-prīti]:

nāhaṁ tu sakhyo bhajato’pi jantūn bhajāmy amīṣām anuvṛttivṛttaye |
yathādhano labdha-dhane vinaṣṭe tac cintayānyan nibhṛto na veda || [bhā.pu. 10.32.20]

O My friends! I do not [visibly or readily] reciprocate the love even of those who love Me so that they will remain constantly absorbed in contemplation on Me, just as, if a destitute person is favored with wealth and then suddenly loses it, he remains absorbed in thoughts of that alone and can think of nothing else. (sb 10.32.20)

In His reply, Śrī Kṛṣṇa categorically differentiates His love from even the selfless love that is mentioned in the verse. Śrī Jīva Goswami explains:

bhajanty abhajataḥ [bhā.pu. 10.32.18] ity atra na karuṇādīnāṁ dayanīyādi-kartṛka-prīty-āsvādāpekṣā | tathā dayanīyādīnāṁ karuṇādi-viṣayā yā prītiḥ, sā karuṇādi-bhajana-jīvanā syād ity āyāti |

In sb 10.32.18 [cited in the previous anuccheda], it was said, “Some people love even those who do not reciprocate their love.” Such compassionate individuals carry no expectation (apekṣā) of savoring love from those upon whom they extend grace. Accordingly, the love of those who are the object of compassion [to whatever extent it subsequently arises] toward those who extend them grace subsists entirely on the favorable response of the compassionate. This is the conclusion.

Selfless love has no expectation of any response from the recipient of the love. Depending on the attitude of the one who love selflessly, their object of love may feel love in turn for them. In contrast, Śrī Kṛṣṇa loves in such a way as to ensure the arising of love in the object of His love. Śrī Jīva Goswami writes —

tu śrī-kṛṣṇasya sva-bhakteṣu sva-premātiśayodaye prayatnaḥ | tad-udaye ca sati, tad-āsvādād bhakta-viṣayaka-prema-camatkāro’tiśayena syād iti tad-bhaktānāṁ ca tat-kṛtaudāsīnye’pi premṇor eva vṛddhiḥ syād iti vaiśiṣṭyam āgatam |

In the above verse, however, Śrī Kṛṣṇa’s sole endeavor is to impel love for Him to manifest ever more expansively in His devotees. And when it does become manifest, then by its taste, the wondrous love that He too feels for His devotees is also greatly increased. Consequently, even when Kṛṣṇa displays indifference toward His devotees, both He and His devotees undergo an amplification of their love. This is the distinguishing feature of His love [in contrast to selfless worldly love].

And here we see the difference. In worldly love, the dynamics of positive feedback – a mutual exchange of love which continues to get amplified – is impossible. This sort of love is only possible in Bhagavad-prīti and not in worldly love. The reason for this, of course, is that the prīti of devotees is Bhagavān’s svarūpa-śakti which He has deposited into His devotees. And because it is His own svarūpa-śakti, that prīti relentlessly and continuously flows toward Him in the form of service by His devotees. And it flows back again into His devotees, and the dynamic continues.

Put differently, Bhagavān and His devotees have a mutual relationship of service to each other. Selfless love, on the other hand, is uni-directional.

Summary

Selfless worldly love is superior to selfish worldly love.

Selfless worldly love does not seek to elicit love in the object of love.

Bhagavān’s love is solely aimed at impelling love in His devotees for Him.

The dynamics of positive feedback between Bhagavān’s love and the love in His devotees results in ever-increasing love in both.